New year's Eve tomorrow. I'm going to post something. I'm playing a show at my favorite bar. A few weeks ago I was ejected from that bar for brawling. Needless to say I was on the side of righteousness. They're letting me back in- I checked. Leisure recommendations: "stoptime" by frank conroy. " a river runs through it" norman maclean.

Everyone needs a direction, everyone needs a vision. For cops: going home after a night shift cruising down Crowchild with the sun coming up wired because you've got a loaded gun on your belt. Nenshi = social media.

Full disclosure: I worked for the Canadian Census this summer. I'll begin by saying this was the most leisure conducive job I've ever had. I worked 3-4 hours a day for six weeks walking around Sunnyside and took hour long coffee breaks at Vendome. I didn't start work before 1 PM ever. I loved it because I got paid by the hour, not by the completed census form, and nobody on my lists was ever home (my hours were 1-4 PM). Nobody even lived in these places. The rare time someone answered the door my face would go from breezy content to utter dismay.

I just mention this because a lot of my co-workers gave me the strong impression that the census was the most exciting thing they had ever been part of and that five year intervals was a damn tragedy for this epic good time they were having. Plus they took it SERIOUS. I met a fat man on the street who was also an ennumerator. He sweated out his red faced essence with the pompous strut of an overfed Dutch berger. Thinking I had chanced upon a kindred soul, I called out to him. Without breaking stride he informed me that he still had twenty minutes before census regulation stated that he cease doing house calls and had no time to chat. Anyway, he had a vision and to judge from his walk a capitalised Purpose.

This is a confessional post. Occasionally in the last hours of an afternoon spent reading and baiting the neighbour's dog a gentleman of leisure forgets himself, and starts to fear that a pompous fat man with a questionnaire in the crook of his arm is filling out little boxes under his name. Direction: none. Vision: somewhat worse than average. This is why I tried to ennumerate very sympathetically, usually by going round when few could possibly be home. Although leisure and self-reflection are easy companions you've got to keep your own criteria, distinct from the pompous fat man. Palm Breezy: check. Pants: check (phew). Lady: coming over later. Book: water damaged from the bath, still readable.

LEISURE UPDATE

At my house there are three bedrooms, two upstairs and one down. The downstairs one is next to the kitchen. The upstaires ones are steamy hot. Since I generally sleep in a few hours later than most people in my house I moved upstairs.

LEISURE IN MAY

Since graduating from university (where I took the most leisurely course of studies) I've been offered a few jobs, all of which I've turned down. Why! Why would I do this? I'll tell you: leisure. It's not any more complicated than that.
This means that I'm high and dry financewise- not a bad thing. It's freed me up to pursue more simple pleasures, which are always the most leisurely fulfilling. I spent much of the last two days in my bed, alternately snoozing and reading The World According To Garp, a truly fine book by a guy who probably doesn't get it, leisure style. Today I'm off to Edmonton for some degenerate entertainment. Hopefully I can sleep in the car.
Some of my leisure pals have disembarked from the gravy train for more strenuous pastures; indignantly, I said farewell.
Despite my devotion to repose and dear Vacuna, I'm looking for a job. Hook me up, reader.
I plan on attending the MAY MELT concert dust bowl in Inglewood 'pon my return from the wildlands near Edmonton. I'm gonna blog that shit. If only to try and finagle a press pass. LEISURE OUT

HIATUS OFF

I'm emerging from my hiatus cave, where I was resting for a few weeks on a heap of pillows. Leisure plan number one: I'm returning to the BOGE ABODE to see the place in full swing. Leisure plan two: I need to make a video by May 15. I've been watching a lot of short videos on YOUTUBE. All I know now is I'm not down with lots of that. When the video is done, I'll post it on the blog. Tips and suggestions are welcome.

The nice thing is that my camera has a fairly comfy head-strap-attachment so I won't have to raise my arms past my hips. I just googled the god of leisure: it's VACUNA. she's all about leisure and repose. I bet she's a babe. thank vacuna.

HIATUS

I'm going on HIATUS. All this leisure is spilling into my non-leisure, which makes the excess leisure seem like non-leisure. Don't worry, be back soon. Expect to see summer job abs shortly.

follow leisure AB on twitter

don't strain yourself, but you can now follow leisurealberta on twitter: @leisurealberta

Review #4: Bogez Abode

A few weeks ago I had the distinct pleasure of inviting myself over to J---- Bogle's house. It's quite a place- like a Swedish hunting lodge in the middle of Calgary. Or half of an old estate house. Seriously, there's a shit ton of animals heads on the walls. It's one of those houses where even though the interior is huge, you know theres a bunch of secret rooms filled with dusty relics in the basement. On the door is a plaque from the 17th century or something that says Dr. L---- B-----, Physician and Surgeon. They let me play one of the guitars that was lying around- Led Zeppelin lived in a mansion that I imagine looked like the Boge Abode(I'm still working on my 'stairway').This is a house where some serious cool stuff probably goes down. Hopefully I can invite myself over again sometime. The hosts, J--- and her roommate, were crazy welcoming. They plied us with beer left over from some party (which I wasn't invited to) and let my pal Suzie drape herself rather douchily in furs (pics pending permission).

Atmosphere: Old, in a good way.
People: Friendly and accommodating.
Price: It made me think unfavourably of my own humble abode. Envy?
Food: I think there were some yam fries going around.
Overall: an honestly solid house. For some reason it seemed very Scandinavian. And check this: they have a hot tub. A+

Review #3: Serenity Dental

A friend of mine recommended that I try out Serenity's root canals. It's a good idea to brush your teeth longer than usual before you go here, because they'll definitely be looking. They have an enormous collection of the most dull magazines for housewives, and one of those water tanks that tastes like plastic. The hostess was friendly enough. All of their chairs recline, which is fairly novel and convenient. I didn't get what I came for- root canals a no-go, but I lost a few wisdom teeth while I was there. I have mixed feelings about the whole experience.

Atmosphere: an air of imminent doom hangs about the place
People: faux-friendly, and they have no respect for your personal space
Price: off the charts. Mr Blue Cross picked up some of the tab
Food: no solids for a few days
Overall: D-. no hot tub. People call you out for not flossing.

Rveview #2: Robert's Hollow

Robert's Hollow is an alright place to spend the early evening hours of a Saturday getting all up in what is commonly called 'pre-gaming'. It's in Mission, a neighborhood usually considered pretty hip by people who know DJ's personally or how to make their own hummus. I'll give credit where credit's due: it's a pretty balling pad. It's above a store or a restaurant or something, like 'flats' in London probably are. I've spent a night or two on the reasonably soft shag carpet, with nary a regret. Good music, good hospitality.

Atmosphere: festive at night, generally subdued by morning
People: of the highest pedigree
Price: it's BYOB, so like 5.99 or whatever TNT costs
Food: I've never been offered any
Overall: hard to say- I didn't see a hot tub, and I don't think there's free wireless. I give it a B/B-, with a lot of potential to improve

Reviewing local hotspots, Review #1: My Dad's Hot Tub

By request, I'm starting a series of posts reviewing different things around town- shops, restaurants, people, taverns etc. If you want me to review your favorite thing, post it in the comment section.

Numero Uno: my Dad's hot tub

Actually a pretty great place to hangout. Usually before I head out for a night in the tub, I'll tiptoe into the house and see what eats I can scrounge out of the fridge. The hot tub is open pretty much all night, but when you leave you've got to cover it or the electrical bills will be through da roof for that month. It's a good place to knock back a few Lucky's or Pilsner king cans, but make sure you throw the empties in the alley when you're done. A couple of dogs will harass (lick your head and shoulders) you if you don't put them in the back porch.

Atmosphere: steamy for the most part
People: 4-6
Price: free for me, I think my dad pays utilities though
Food: soggy. If you see any, try and get it out
Overall: B+

Leisure, 2011 Style

This season it's all about being seen downtown with classier people than you'd normally hangout with. This means drinking Big Rock in the alley instead of Brewhouse, and sipping on gin and juice instead of just gin. So you've got to cut your homeless friends loose. Generally, you can tell one of your friends is too into the homeless scene when strangers tap their shoulders and offer to buy them coffee, or give them directions to the Mustard Seed. This used to happen to me at the university, back in 2010 when that lifestyle was trending.