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Review #4: Bogez Abode

A few weeks ago I had the distinct pleasure of inviting myself over to J---- Bogle's house. It's quite a place- like a Swedish hunting lodge in the middle of Calgary. Or half of an old estate house. Seriously, there's a shit ton of animals heads on the walls. It's one of those houses where even though the interior is huge, you know theres a bunch of secret rooms filled with dusty relics in the basement. On the door is a plaque from the 17th century or something that says Dr. L---- B-----, Physician and Surgeon. They let me play one of the guitars that was lying around- Led Zeppelin lived in a mansion that I imagine looked like the Boge Abode(I'm still working on my 'stairway').This is a house where some serious cool stuff probably goes down. Hopefully I can invite myself over again sometime. The hosts, J--- and her roommate, were crazy welcoming. They plied us with beer left over from some party (which I wasn't invited to) and let my pal Suzie drape herself rather douchily in furs (pics pending permission).

Atmosphere: Old, in a good way.
People: Friendly and accommodating.
Price: It made me think unfavourably of my own humble abode. Envy?
Food: I think there were some yam fries going around.
Overall: an honestly solid house. For some reason it seemed very Scandinavian. And check this: they have a hot tub. A+

Review #3: Serenity Dental

A friend of mine recommended that I try out Serenity's root canals. It's a good idea to brush your teeth longer than usual before you go here, because they'll definitely be looking. They have an enormous collection of the most dull magazines for housewives, and one of those water tanks that tastes like plastic. The hostess was friendly enough. All of their chairs recline, which is fairly novel and convenient. I didn't get what I came for- root canals a no-go, but I lost a few wisdom teeth while I was there. I have mixed feelings about the whole experience.

Atmosphere: an air of imminent doom hangs about the place
People: faux-friendly, and they have no respect for your personal space
Price: off the charts. Mr Blue Cross picked up some of the tab
Food: no solids for a few days
Overall: D-. no hot tub. People call you out for not flossing.

Rveview #2: Robert's Hollow

Robert's Hollow is an alright place to spend the early evening hours of a Saturday getting all up in what is commonly called 'pre-gaming'. It's in Mission, a neighborhood usually considered pretty hip by people who know DJ's personally or how to make their own hummus. I'll give credit where credit's due: it's a pretty balling pad. It's above a store or a restaurant or something, like 'flats' in London probably are. I've spent a night or two on the reasonably soft shag carpet, with nary a regret. Good music, good hospitality.

Atmosphere: festive at night, generally subdued by morning
People: of the highest pedigree
Price: it's BYOB, so like 5.99 or whatever TNT costs
Food: I've never been offered any
Overall: hard to say- I didn't see a hot tub, and I don't think there's free wireless. I give it a B/B-, with a lot of potential to improve

Reviewing local hotspots, Review #1: My Dad's Hot Tub

By request, I'm starting a series of posts reviewing different things around town- shops, restaurants, people, taverns etc. If you want me to review your favorite thing, post it in the comment section.

Numero Uno: my Dad's hot tub

Actually a pretty great place to hangout. Usually before I head out for a night in the tub, I'll tiptoe into the house and see what eats I can scrounge out of the fridge. The hot tub is open pretty much all night, but when you leave you've got to cover it or the electrical bills will be through da roof for that month. It's a good place to knock back a few Lucky's or Pilsner king cans, but make sure you throw the empties in the alley when you're done. A couple of dogs will harass (lick your head and shoulders) you if you don't put them in the back porch.

Atmosphere: steamy for the most part
People: 4-6
Price: free for me, I think my dad pays utilities though
Food: soggy. If you see any, try and get it out
Overall: B+

Leisure, 2011 Style

This season it's all about being seen downtown with classier people than you'd normally hangout with. This means drinking Big Rock in the alley instead of Brewhouse, and sipping on gin and juice instead of just gin. So you've got to cut your homeless friends loose. Generally, you can tell one of your friends is too into the homeless scene when strangers tap their shoulders and offer to buy them coffee, or give them directions to the Mustard Seed. This used to happen to me at the university, back in 2010 when that lifestyle was trending.